Dust’s Diary Days 16 to 18

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Days 16…. and 17

Dear Sands,

What a ride the past couple of days have been!

I’m writing this entry from our inn in… errrr…. Wild home? Windholm? Dwarven place with grumpy locals. More grumpy than your usual stereotypical dwarf anyway.

So, after Gabbie returned with ‘Coach Drinkies’ for our trip from Zemnia to Wind… wild… thing? We shoved the ‘Glitter Bomb’ up on top next to our super nice driver: seriously, that guy agreed to drive through the night just for a little extra cash and a bottle of rum, he really could have charged us more. Anyway, after we got under way we all sat inside and downed red pennies (you know, the fire burping drink I wrote about before?) and I kind of burped fire at Norb! It was fickin’ hilarious! I think Glitter-B vomited sick on the window at some point during our journey, damn it was gross! Maybe that was after the killer trees but before the horse polymorphing though?

Oh yeah! The killer trees! Right, so, we set up camp for the night and when it was my turn to take a watch it was all nice and quiet and Gabbie totally failed to light a fire so I showed him how it’s done – ok so I cheated – but hey. Silence. Still silence. Then I heard something. So I crept closer to have a look and then the damned trees came to life and tried to eat everyone! Well… not Fribs, he’s, like, too epic to be eaten by a tree! Fortunately I was hidden but I thought I’d better give everyone a bit of help rather than do the sensible thing of running away. And then the trees died via Glitter-B Fireball…. TWICE! Seriously that guys has some fire power! Pity he nearly blew up Fribs though!

Anyway, after the fight I desperately tried to put out the flames from Glitter-B’s fire spells but, lets face it, tricks I can do but huge buckets of REAL water is a little beyond my capabilities. So Glitter-B made it rain. LOTS. And I was so soaked to the skin that I was too cold and miserable to write last night. Also, Gabbie talked to the driver and convinced him that everything was going to be ok. Seriously, Gabbie is such a smarmy bastard…. He’s great!

The next morning we all got up and Fribs invited me off deeper into the woods. As you know, I’m a sucker for an adventure so I tagged along. I saw the most adorable thing EVAH! Fribs has a bear friend and they were playing! His friend also showed Fribs how to make a pair of gauntlets he has (remember the artefacts we’re collecting? Yeah, one of those) do extra carnage-y stuffs. I felt terrible when Fribs friend had to go home though… I’m sure they’ll meet again soon… Fribs deserves nice things to happen to him.

After breakfast Blue asked to do the rest of the journey inside the coach, since he had not thrown glitter for a while, and he was still very very tired. While the others thought this was a bad idea, and commented that it was his own silly fault for jumping into a portal (true), I recalled how he’s helped us win the tree fight AND put out the flames… so I offered to ride up top. Sadly he then glitter-vommed sooooo he was sent back up top with the driver and we got the comfy seats…. And Blue had regained his diary nickname of Glitter-B. He might keep it, who knows!

About halfway along the journey there everyone started to get a little worried about the time of night we’d arrive. Soooooo the guys hatched a plan and it was this: turn the driver into an extra horse. Lady Windybum fixed the wand Noke turned himself into a gob-monster with… so we’ve got a polymorph wand now. Yay! By the gods, turning that man into a horse was brilliant! Not only did the guy agree but he also LOVED it! And we got a laugh too! Pity my ability to tack horses leaves a lot to be desired…. It looked so easy when others do it. Maybe it was because I was tacking up a human?

Regardless, we arrived at Wildthing last night, errrr, 1am ish, and after discovering the inn keeper (Mr See-a-dick…. Was that his name or were we just totally intoxicated?) would only talk to Norb we got ourselves some Thistle… errrrr…. Thistle…. Hang on I’ll ask the guys…

Back! Thistlebrew! It was delicious! Even Fribs thought it was nice, and he only likes nice things!

Our beds were…. Cheap? Hammocks actually, and I got to be Norb’s foot warmer. Much safer. No-one expects a Tabaxi at the end of a dwarf’s bed so while the assassins are killing him I’d have a chance to escape. Or murder them back for murdering Norb. Speaking of Norb, I’ve decided he’s a Dwarven prince, who is on the run… not sure why he’s felt he needed to go on the run yet. But that must be why he didn’t want his picture plastered all over the festival when he won the arm wrestling competition!

Breakfast is good though and I think we’re off to find the Dwarven temple lady. Never been to a Dwarven temple filled with undead before so this should be great! I wonder if there will be anything good to relocate from there?


Day 18

Dear Sands,

Exploring a crypt filled with undead was every bit as exciting as I had hoped: if not MORE exciting!

We arrived at the dwarven temple just after breakfast, Gabbie and I having a race to see who could get to the top of the stairs faster. He cheated of course, using an illusion of a barrel to catch me off guard… and it would have worked had I not been feeling particularly nimble that day. I mean, putting your paws on something that wasn’t there to jump over seldom goes well – did for me though! You’d like Gabbie: he’s not a preachy guy AND he’s a riot.

The temple itself was set into the side of a huge rock – like it was randomly shat out by a titan and left there all by itself – and all the doors were locked: barricaded even. I ended up climbing along the wall and scurrying in through the window. And that’s where we met the local priestess. Long story short, there were undead rising from the crypts and no-one could figure out why… and her husband was missing.

It was a dangerous spelunk down into the crypts, skeletons everywhere, Blue throwing fireballs, no proper loot (aside from the diamond Fribie swallowed… don’t ask) and Fribie spat on my arrows. Ok, so that bit was figgi’ sweet as it turns out druid spit makes my arrows more deadly. Who’da thought?! He also had this ability to make me faster – EPIC!

It wasn’t all fun though. The priestess’ husband had been zombie-fied… I felt terrible for her and hope that I do not face the same sadness when I next see Wisps. She mentioned that a guardian of some kind was missing from one of the coffins. We also kept finding these odd ‘puzzle pieces’, they were yellow, and we took them with us. I think we would have learnt more about their magical properties but Blue managed to loose his voice, with a spell, and could only squeak. It. Was. HILARIOUS!!! Squeak!

Eventually, after setting off a poison like trap, we left priestess behind and ended up swimming underwater and coming out inside a fountain: there was a whole new part of the crypt in there. All very exciting! Squeak!

Now this bit was oddly devoid of skeletal life and Blue, I think he was a little bored, waltzed on ahead, which didn’t end as badly as it could have. He didn’t set off a trap but I did when I said ‘What is this? Skeleton storage?’ in reference to a heap of skeletons piled into a couple of sarcophagus’s. Poisoned darts! Fortunately most of us ducked but poor Fribie was not a happy bear – which is super bad because I WANT Fribie to be a happy bear. I couldn’t find the mechanism anywhere and started to doubt what had happened when Gabbie said ‘It got set off when you said Skeleton Stor-’. Guess what? MORE DARTS!!! He then had the bright idea of ‘keep out the way, repeat phrase, eventually darts run out’…… it worked!!! Seriously, that guy is soooo clever!

Feeling super pleased with ourselves we found at the end of the corridor a huge metal door and on it was carved a giant dwarf face. I think Norb is much more handsome though. In the door was a recess, and the puzzle pieces fit inside. Only to glow, slightly change shape and fall out. So we set to work again! And this time they glowed, fell out and the skeletons started rising to attack us! While Norb, Fribie and I fended off the skeletons (I was vaguely hero like!) Gabbie and Blue frantically started putting the pieces back in – Norb helped too, as befits a prince! And Gabbie used a super clever illusion to make a skelly think it was trapped behind a wall – he’s sooooo resourceful!

With the door open, and me hoping there would be lots of treasure, we found something far more exhilarating, deadly and generally not nice. Not only was there this, I assume, giant guardian thing, but some cowbag and more damned skellies. She kept healing herself randomly, the skellies wouldn’t stay dead as the got healed and rose, the guardian too and Fribie charged ahead upstairs when the cowbag wouldn’t stay still!!! It was chaos! And then I heard a sound I will never get out of my dreams: Fribie was near mortally wounded and Gabbie couldn’t help him as he was downstairs! Running on all fours is undignified for a tabaxi but in that moment I thought ‘if it’s good enough for Fribie then it was good enough for me’ and I practically flew to his aid – I’d NEVER leave him! None of them, even Blue! Squeak!

Upstairs was some ghost bitch, an unconscious Fribie, two ill creatures in cages and Norb heroically keeping the ghost bitch busy! Blue and Gabbie were still downstairs, I was terrified for them but I had to help Fribie and I got him conscious at least – thank the gods for Wisps teaching me that little ‘healing from afar’ trick. The truth is Fribie had the brains to attack the healing magics: which turned the tide of the battle and Norb killed EVERYTHING! I’ve never seen him so focused: rather dashing really. Not that you’re not dashing of course! Squeak!

After the battle we all returned upstairs and spoke to the horrid undead’s captives. A couple of caged little pixie like things. I used my meagre magics to give a little wound licking to the super poorly looking one… and then we realised that the only one who could understand the pixie things was Blue….. Who could only bloody squeak! Squeak! Eventually we worked out a way of communicating via magic so Gabbie could translate for us: they were caught, trapped and the poor little thing were tortured for their fairy dust. I got them out with Fribie’s help – but did any of my friends marvel at how nimble I was? Were they in awe as I hung upside down and used my lockpicks to unlock the cages… twice? Nope! Oh well, you can’t please them all.

Fribie and Glitter-Blue did some sort of anchor ritual to save the pixies: I’m very proud of them. I looted the skelly pit for a nice pearl necklace: exactly what I need for a little spell Wisps taught me to identify our things. Things like cowbag’s crossbow – quite the nice item really, a bit of extra firepower for yours truly. And a gem that floats around the users head and hold spells – Gabbie has that and it’s one of those key object thing we need for the antiques-collector-council-member-dude. Gabbie made the connection – told you he was soooo clever!

We also explored cowbag’s coffin bed, only to discover that there was room down there and some sort of passage to the Underworld. After a bit of looting, debating, going back to tell the priestess what happened and she treated us to the most AMAZING dinner of all time! It was some sort of spell thing that made a table and on it was EVERYTHING we ever wanted! So much cheese! Turns out cheese makes for intoxicated pixies: hilarious! And the priestess… Bruna? Bramen? I dunno, that lady, she fell asleep in her chair. She must have been so tired.. Especially after everything. Poor dwarf lady. Oh! And there was port! And lobster! And… beetles. I tried one…… it didn’t taste like chicken.

Still, we’re alive, we’re…. A bit pissed and we’re all together. I think… we’re gonna be ok.

Tomorrow we’re going to try to get the pixies home. They know how to get the the fairy world, they’re tourists like me, and are going to try to help us get Glitter-Blue fixed. I hope we can help him, and after… after… I’m going to ask if we can follow the hint about my uncle. I know it’s in the opposite direction. I know we need to get to the underworld and stop Zoltane. I know this town is in danger if we take too long and yet I have to find my uncle first – once I know Glitter-Blue is ok, he’s so super sick, and he doesn’t deserve his disease. Maybe we can find that last Seal of Quengor and save Zemnia city from the Peoples Front of Zemnina (or was it the Zemnian People’s Front?) too. And then I’ll face my fear that my Uncle is dead simply because I chose to do the right thing and help a town rather than help myself. Guess I’m growing up, even though it hurts and I feel… so very alone.

I miss you so so much… I think I’ll have to do something tomorrow that’s just awful to cheer myself up that reminds me of you and home. Squeak!