One night out on the road out of Zemnia and all ready Orlen is throwing fireballs. Or… Some Guys Minute Meteors anyway. It was quite to show! Then Gabbie joined in and I thought I’d had a bit of fun letting off a few fireworks. Fribs was… not so happy as we scared the horses: I can see his point but it WAS kind of fun.
Aside from that there is nothing new to report.
See, I’m being good and writing every day again!
Urgh, it rained today. My paws are covered in mud and we all look like shite. Even Norben’s freshly washed armour is starting to smell again.
Fortunately we all have our own tents now, thanks to the portable hole… or I just use the four other tents. I think it’s fair as I’m carrying all our supplies in my new SUPER MASSIVE BLACK HOLE!!! And I cook… a bit…
It really was the best purchase ever that hole. As I was continuing my driving lessons (Fribs really is a good teacher) I kept thinking about ways to use it. We can set up ambushes by hiding in it, we can hide the bodies, we can use it as a pit trap AND we can use it to carry all our heavy stuff. I’m sure there are more applications: I’m all ready wondering if we fill it with water, and use Orlen’s fire magic to heat it, if we can have a proper bath!
We have guests tonight… and a tied up Norben. I also have to keep up this RIDICULOUS accent for far longer than I intended!
This morning we chanced upon a check point, a guarded one, and blagged our way through a load of paranoid military personnel… one was a rather dashing half-orc Officer. Marvellous fun! I’ve never played the part of ‘bounty hunter leader’ before – Smoke On The Water being my name. I think I’ll leave the McMasons’ leadership to someone else though – too much stress for my liking!
Just as we were pulling away, having convinced the idiots we were on the hunt for Six Wisps Singing, the ground exploded and out popped a load of giant bugs! Acid was spat, swords clashed and bolts flew: we were victorious! And we looked epic! Trouble was Norben, seemingly in some sort of rage, attacked the Officer! We managed to talk our way out of it though and left (after Orlen made a very lucky and awesome orb-of-catching throw) with Norben tied up.
So the guests are a couple of guards, Ben and Still, who were asked by the rather dashing half-orc Officer to escort us into town. So we’re stuck with them. For at least two days. With this stupid Al Danabian accent I’m using as part of my new persona. Urgh, I thought it’d be fun for just an hour, but no, TWO DAYS!
Hope they don’t mind a little music… my lute needs some TLC.
Day four of camping.
I hate this.
I want a bath.
I want to stop using magic to fake that the food tastes ok.
I think my lute is getting damp.
I want a salon for a full fur spruce, massage and tail pamper! And strippers! With feathers to hide their unmentionables while they dance!
People wonder why we kept leaving the Conclave for Al Danab? Civilisation, bath houses, boutiques, TAVERNS! But now, here I am… camping. It’s just like being stuck with my parents again. Honestly they were feckin’ weirdos.
But for all my complaining at least I am enjoying my travelling companions. They make me smile, so much. It’s like I’ve known them for years!
We’ve untied Norben. He doesn’t seem to have a clue why he weirded out but he looks VERY embarrassed. Poor thing: I just hope he’s ok and it was just horrible to have to pretend to act like I didn’t care to keep up the ruse in front of Ben and Still. I’m the worst friend ever.
Can’t wait till we get into town.
Also, one of the guards, Ben I think, told me a little information about a tabaxi that was recently caught and is being held in a prison in the big swamp town. Apparently the guy was stirring up trouble with the ZPF (PFZ) But Ben didn’t know much else. I wonder if it’s Wisps?
STILL ON THE BLOODY ROAD!!!
I HATE THIS!!!
I WANT A BATH!!!
DIE BUGS, DIE!!!
P.S. Ben thinks we’re going to arrive in Lemsip tomorrow… thank the gods!